The lounge at Sterling
My mom is in yet another care facility called Sterling Assisted Living where she could stay until time to go to hospice. The catch is that every service they provide adds to her bill. An escort to the dining room (which she'd never find otherwise) is $275 a month. Someone to help her shower twice a week, $300 a month. Someone to help her take her pills, $250 a month. But there's no guarantee these aides will show up regularly; in fact my sister has met with a series of disappointments from no-shows and has yet to find an aide who will be reliable.
The good news is that at least temporarily, Mother has a real live cat. Judy will have to help with feeding and sandbox and check the cat's welfare frequently, but Mom's delighted as a little kid. The only problem is that she confuses the live cat with a stuffed cat I gave her, so at some point one or the other will probably have to go.
The lounge at Sterling
11 comments:
Bless her heart, and you and your sister too. I've been there and done that. But my sis and I promised Mom we would not put her in a home. Her sister spent close to 15 years in a care facility. She would call my Mom on a monthly basis and say she only had one dress, when my Mom and another sister had just sent her 4 or five dresses within the month. He 'help' would rob her blind... they took her false teeth!
It's sad, but sometimes it's just what you have to do. My prayers are with you....
It makes one wonder what we save for retirement for....to spend it all on assisted living and health care? Don't get me wrong, I think many of these places are wonderful and very beautiful, but to watch our parents spend everything they worked for to take a shower and be fed? I haven't had to go through any of this with my parents...yet.
I think animals are sometimes the best medicine for the elderly.
It has been proven in some studies that a pet will keep your blood pressure down. I'm sure there are other health related benefits too.
Jomamma (love that name) - What my mom is in is sort of a hybrid nursing home/apartment. She doesn't have to have a roommate, but she's still got somebody around who could easily steal her blind. The problem is the staff who are underpaid, underappreciated and have lousy self-esteem, so they find it easy to justify robbing and mistreating patients who can't remember from one minute to the next what's going on. To think of spending the last years of one's life surrounded by people like that curdles my blood.
Trixie - I hope there are better solutions by the time your parents need it. The places are beautiful, but it's window-dressing, and when you look at the warehousing conditions the people actually live in, the fact that they all look drugged and probably are because otherwise they'd be wandering all over the place trying to get out...it's a harsh awakening. You're fleeced by the system, then fleeced by the help who are just waiting for you to die so they can move somebody else in.
You comments about the workers are so true.
It drives me insane how we reward caregivers, teachers, preschool workers, policemen, on and on and on ...
While the actors, sports figures, executives, etc. collect excessive salaries. Do not get me wrong - I am fine with them making "allot" but no one deserves $20 million for acting in a movie.
Mom - Here in Mexico it's traditional to care for the aging at home, at least until they have to be in a hospital. It's huge work and very disruptive for daily living, and I'm sure there are abuses there too, but at least if there's love in the family the elderly have a share in it too. The nursing homes are so cold and impersonal. I visited three in one day and came away hugely depressed.
First Mate - There is a magnificent facility in San Miguel for the elderly Mexican and ex-pats. If you can't pay - you don't. If you can - it's about $700 a month. The caregivers, Mexican are so loving and kind and attached to the people there. You might check into that possibility near you. I know others who have rented homes in Mexico and have two full-time caregivers (one each for a 12 hour shift) and it runs about $800 a month for 24/7 care plus rent and utilities. AND the care is so excellent. You're in my thoughts!
Yikes. What a tough situation. I hope she gets to keep the live cat over the stuffed one.
Thanks, I labeled myself that the first time I commented on Jolea's blog, wasn't sure she would know who I was... she did, she's pretty bright. My sister goes by Joauntie... she doesn't comment much.
It's disgraceful! It really is.
Babs has some cool ideas.
Babs - The place in SMA sounds wonderful. I don't think there's anything like that around here. And I've always wanted to visit there, maybe I should go check it out. I had been thinking that my mom has always been afraid of people of color, never having known any very well, but if she's mentally younger than two now, maybe she would have lost that fear. At the moment I feel overwhelmed at the logistics of moving her again, but once I'm done with my work deadline I may be able to deal with the idea. I guess there could be something in Hermosillo also, which is only an hour's drive from me.
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